1982-July-30

A.M. Journal

Muhammad Speaks

Imam W. Deen Muhammad

QUESTION: Should a father spank his children, or let the mother alone spank them?

IMAM: First, I would say that the responsibilities of raising small children rests on the mother, and the father in Al-Islam is only to lend his support to the mother.

Some mothers, I find, accept all the responsibilities up to the point of administering physical punishment, or corporal punishment. When it gets to that point, they say, "Go to your Daddy. I am going to have him whip you!"

I think that harms the relationship of the father to his children. I don't think that is good at all. No mother should direct the children to the father to be whipped. She should accept to do that herself.

If a youngster who is spoiled and ruined by this society has become too big for the mother to handle, and reaches a point of disrespecting the mother, then the father should support the mother. The two of them should correct that child.

Even in situations like that, they have to remember that we have a real serious problem in this society of child abuse. Therefore, the father has to be very careful not to allow his anger to move him to come in, in defense of his wife, or the child's mother, and administer severe punishment or punishment which would be described as child abuse.

The father should, as much as possible, leave the matter entirely up to the mother to correct the children.

My father was a good example to me. He hardly ever administered punishment. He would always leave it to my mother.

My mother, I recall, many times would be angry with us. She would be arguing with us, scolding us for something we had neglected or something we did that we should not have done, and he was right there. We all knew that he heard the loud talk, and the anger my mother felt. But I can hardly ever recall him coming into it.

That is how we (the men) should conduct ourselves. As long as women can handle it, we should let them.