1991-December-13

Muslim Journal

"An Indirect Approach (to Family Problems) to Getting a Better Situation at Home": Part 4

Imam W. Deen Mohammed

(Imam W. Deen Mohammed made this public address in Dayton, Ohio on September 29, 1991. From it he has now prepared this article for Muslim Journal's readers.)

Believe me, there is something for everybody to do. For the one child who cannot find anything to do, tell that one, "You have to find something to do. You have to find something you like, and you don't have but one day of twenty-four hours to do it. Now tomorrow you have to tell me what you like to do." Insist that all of them do something, but don't make all of them do all the same things.

For most, our way was to say, "That floor needs to be mopped, so go and mop that floor/" We don't think about the organization of the family. Allah made a family to be an organization. So you have to organize your labor and that is the people (the members) in your family. You have to designate to them certain things to do, and then the family works better. Treat the family as an organization. Organize the members of the family to do what has to be done regularly in the house. Be just like a business corporation and do not assign this duty to one who will not do a good job or does not care for it. If there is one who likes a certain job more, then let that one do that.

Now, if you have a boy that just likes to iron, watch out. Get him something associated with masculinity to do in addition to ironing. I saw one become too sweet just ironing at the ironing board.

Allah created us and put a prior condition in us. Trust is a destiny-directed condition. Everything is supported by faith and trust. No matter bow much we learn in this religion, we have to remain Muslims because of faith — not because of knowledge or some kind of revelation that we got. We remain Muslim because of faith. The greatest scholar in this religion has to remain Muslim because of faith, not because of his knowledge. It is a prior condition that must stay with us — faith.

The society must encourage trust between the members of the society. One president of the United States went over to Russia before Russia was in the news for its fever for freedom. I am talking about President Reagan. He made a visit to Russia and told the Russians to "trust your people." He must have had an indication that the people were wanting more freedom.

I said to myself, "He should trust his people." I did not like that and could not take it too well, that President Reagan was over in Russia telling them to trust their people. And over here they (the leaders) were not trusting me, when I am one of the most trustworthy guys in this country. "Trust your people, too, mister," is what I wanted to say to him. Show more faith in African Americans and you will not find so many of them in jail and out tearing down the city and burning and killing. People want to be trusted. Historically American "whites" have overreacted to our problems upon their guilt and fear.

If you don't trust your children, your children will not trust you in your own house. If the establishment will not trust their subjects, the subjects will not trust it. If the police force will not trust the citizens, the citizens will not trust it. Trust is very, very important. I hope you have understood something of what I said, in that faith or trust is a prior condition that Allah has created in us. We have to promote trust between each other in the house and in the society.

Don't promote distrust. That poisons a society and weakens it and makes it self-destructive. Without trust home and society will be destroyed.

Another concept for Muslims is that absolute ownership is only with Allah. None of us have absolute ownership. That is important. Get out of the habit of saying "this is mine" all of the time. Don't be overly possessive. Dislike claiming everything for yourself. Instead of saying "this is mine," say "this is ours."

Sister, don't say, "Get out of my refrigerator." Say, "Get out of our refrigerator." Don't say, "Don't sit on my couch with those dirty pants." Say, "Don't sit on our couch with those dirty pants." Property is personal and property is shared. Now if he goes into your jewelry and looks for one of those shinny earrings to put into his ear, say, "Funny boy, get out of my jewelry."

When we accept Allah and accept His prophets and accept what He has revealed, it is mainly upon faith. It is our nature to believe in our Creator and to trust our Creator. If we have that condition in us, then we can accept what Allah (God) says, "We hear and we obey." Muslims have to get out of the habit of hesitating, when you know clearly what Allah wants. Stop hesitating.

Allah says pray at Fajr time. If that hits your conscience or you hear the adhan in your house, you don't think about that. If you think about it, that means you are questioning what Allah orders. "Oh, let me see now. Should I pray today?" What if I had talked like that to my mother when I was a boy, if she had said "Wallace, get up and do this thing." If I had hesitated and said, "Well, should I do that today?" Before I would have finished with the sentence, I would have had a knot on my head or a whelp on my buttocks.

A southern mother would put some fire behind you and make you move as if you liked it. You would come with a smile on your face saying, "Yes ma'm."

Our nature to obey nature-supported authority is connected with faith. We cannot have that kind of obedience unless we have strong faith.

"We have heard a caller calling to faith and we have responded." Again, Allah says in the second chapter of Qur'an in the form of those in prayer: "We hear and we obey." It means that if you have faith, you are not to hesitate when you know clearly that Allah God orders thus or a particular act about such and such thing.

Let me tell you what hesitating does. When you hesitate and you know it is right to do a thing, it weakens the muscle to act rightly. Please listen, "Hesitating weakens the muscle to act rightly." If you hesitated this time, then the next time you will be weaker for disobedience. If you do it again, after a few days you are even weaker. And over a period of time in your life, you will become so weak that you'll become like most Muslims. They are not obedient. They are just Muslims in name and not obeying anything.

We need a better appreciation for our women - for women period. Mother is more special than just woman. Wife is more special than just woman. We need a better appreciation for woman, period. We must understand, brothers "woman" is highly regarded, highly respected in this religion. She is respected for having the same or equal intellect. She has equal intellectual potential, equal brains. In this religion she has equal spirit, equal soul, equal morality.

That does not mean it will always turn out that way. That is because God has assigned to us different roles in society. Because of the different role he will become superior to her in certain respects. She will become superior to him in other respects. But that inequality we see in the order of society does not mean men and women are not equal. The proof is the exceptions we find in society. We find women who will out do the man morally. Given the opportunity, she will show herself to be a match for the man. With equality of opportunity, sex seems to disappear as a factor.

I am a welder, and women were allowed to come into the company. I was heliarc welding for the company and I though I was tough. That woman came in there and made me ashamed to even let her know I was welding. We don't like a woman to show us up. She was terrific. Perhaps it so happened that in her traits she had basic talents for mastering the art of heliarc process in welding. She was mastering it.

Now, don't go back and say, "The Imam said there was no difference between males and females." No, I didn't day that. Inherently or originally there were no class or status differences. In terms of human essence and human qualities and potential, there are no differences. But the fact that we have different roles in the world and in society makes the distinctions. Given the same circumstances over enough time, the woman will prove to be our equal in any test.

I hope that will never happen. I do not like the shape of some of these women driving mail trucks. Their buttocks are spread out so much, it looks like an upside down spinning top. There should be femininity for the women and masculinity for the man. It should stay the way the Lord made it.

(To be continued)